Life's A Beach

Alien vs Predator: Flat Mates

Found on Unrealitymag.com, made me laugh anyways.

VCP5

Have managed to bring my VMware Certified Professional certification up to date, passing the VCP 5 exam today.

I had prepared hard all weekend and was fairly confident, but nearly managed to sabotage by chances by doing too many weights in my weekend workout and being in too much pain to sleep properly, leaving me feeling like an extra from The Walking Dead. 

I filled up on McShame and coffee but it ran out halfway through the exam, and at one point I was struggling to even read the question, let alone interpret the correct answers.

Still, on the scale of 100 to 500, with 300 being the pass mark, I squeaked it with 372.

(For any fellow nerds thinking of taking the exam I'd just say this - follow the exam blueprint but ensure you refresh yourself on the basics as well, as the majority of questions I had weren't related to new features)

That's taken care of the IT certification for a while, so I'm now switching tack and having another go at getting my head around science - it's a bit shameful as an IT nerd that I don't even understand properly how elastic trickery works.  Am starting with the essential physics book "Six Easy Pieces" by Richard Feynman.

 

How Was Your Commute?

Here's a picture taken on the 5 minute commute to work.  To think last year's commuting involved holding my breath as I drove past the Gilberdyke landfile by the M62 ....

"And When I Dance I Dance Like Me Dad"

They say growing older is a series of small changes, and that you eventually turn into your father.  Well, I took another step closer over the Christmas break.

We took the long drive up the North Island, and rather than buy food along the way I packed a chilly bin full of sarnies, cans of drink and even a pork pie, for the journey.  So far so Dad-like. 

What made my planning extra Dad-like for me - the giant bottle of Heinz tomato ketchup.

Not long now until you find me parked up in a layby eating my sarnies beside a caravan, wearing a hawaiian shirt and sporting a 'tache that Magnum would be proud of!

(Don't tell him, but if I'm going to turn into anyone I could do a lot worse)

Kiwi kids, hard as nails

Video of a little girl at Wellington Zoo, facing down a lion with no fear.  With 30mm of glass between us I think I'd be avoiding eye contact...

 

Where's Our Stuff?!

Wor Lass rang the kiwi shipping company today to arrange delivery of our boxes of Stuff, to be told "who are you?".  They have no knowledge of who we are or what stuff we've had shipped over.  Gulp!  Have gone back to the UK shippers to find out what's going on...

 

Ready to Get Thru It

Time to get the emergency kit together just in case The Big One hits.

• Bottled water & cheap-ass fizzy drinks - check
• Cans of cheap-ass food that doesn't need a can opener - check
• First aid kit and blankets nicked from the rented flat - check
• Bog rolls - check  (Let's face it, if The Big One hits it will definitely clear any backlogs).
• Cheap-ass muesli bars - check
• Travel fork and spoon - check
• Scaredy-cat Englishman with wind-up torch/radio/alarm/mobile charger - check

We should have enough stuff to survive for a few days in an emergency, even if we can't stand the taste of all the cheap-assed food we've bought.

 

New Year in Papamoa

Having a lovely New Year with family and friends Oop North on the North Island. 

First we caught up with our friend Katrine in Whakatane (pronounced Facker Tarney) and watching her starring in the local theatre group's variety show.  Good performances, just wound up by the lack of punctuation in the Santas Variety Show.

We then heading across to Papamoa Beach to spend a few days with my cool cuzzie Jack and his lovely wife Steph, who always make us very welcome in their gorgeous house.  Their daughter Ruby has also been very entertaining, and it's always good to spend time with Mad Uncle Roger and his better half Linda.  It's been throwing it down most of the trip, but no matter as the company has been good.

Here are MU Roger and Cuzzie Jack getting competitive over a game of Wii carting, Linda & Wor Lass getting into the Christmas Spirits and Ruby getting cheeky in front of camera.

The Hobbit Trailer

I know I'm a late with this, but it's been a busy week!  Here's the first trailer for the new Hobbit film, which isn't just your teaser trailer but shows plenty of the cast and sets. 

As with LOTR New Zealand looks gorgeous and integral to the look of the film, the only downside being the year-long wait before it comes out at the cinema!

 

Artificial Hipster

I'm currently working alongside a bunch of hipster kids and trying way too hard to keep up with them, such as :-

• Quoting Rage Comics catchphrases too much -- "like a sir", "haters keep hating", "___ all the things", etc.
• Setting up a Steam account so I can get into training for an upcoming LAN gaming session.
• Joining the lunchtime sushi posse and trying Japanese food for the first time (surprisingly tasty providing you avoid the wasabi).

However I'm drawing the line at wearing skinny jeans and riding a longboard ...

What Do You Think, Kitty?

Do you think we should stick it out at the flat?

 

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Shit. I have a sense of Deja vu with the apartment, even without a hidden nightclub beneath it :-

• Noisy lift next to Wor Lass' room in regular use up to 1.30am weeknights by cleaners.
• Lift also woke us up at 4am Sunday morning - we figure drunken office worker who couldn't make it home went to kip at desk.
• Some kind of fan outside my room starts up at 5am each morning (hence typing this at 5.30am Monday morning).
• Getting bitten to death by mozzies, probably drawn to water tanks on roof.
• My shower has two temperatures - boiling hot and freezing cold - and all the pressure of being pissed on by a budgie.
• The electric oven cuts out regularly so doesn't get particularly hot.
• Toaster has packed in, kettle is temperamental, fridge freezes things at the back and keeps things fairly warm at the front.

We specifically asked about noise when we looked around and were told it has "normal CBD noise levels", so we were prepared for street noise and the like.

Needless to say the landlords are getting a month notice later today and we're outta here....

Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

Wellington shook a little last night as a magnitude 5.7 quake hit around 8pm.  The apartment wobbled for about 20 seconds, me a few seconds longer.  It spooked us a little, but nothing was damaged and gave us a reminder that we're living on a fault line.  Time to get that Get Thru It pack together!

Other than that it's all been good so far - the flat is getting more homely now and we're sleeping better, plus Kris has been getting more interest from the agencies than back in the UK, though is still moaning when they don't ring her back.   For some reason she can't get her head around the fact that pimps are at best sharks, at worst total incompetents. 

One of the many great things about NZ is Hell Pizza, a well-branded chain with pretty un-PC marketing methods.  Their pizzas are named after deadly sins or other devilish names - my favourite toppings being Mordor.

Picked up a lazy takeout on Friday and took away a free pen (Kiwi pronunciation "pin") with a syringe design that would have the Daily Mail frothing at the mouth.  Even better was the tagline - "Creating addicts since 1996".  Love it!   (Sis - if I can avoid breaking it I'll pass it on to you when we get back.)

Happy Birthday to Meeee

Thanks to all for the birthday messages, have had the best birthday in years.

Pressies:   Sandwich toaster,  book on NLP, new bed (finally arrived yesterday, bliss!).

Birthday meal was garlic bread by Wor Lass, spag bol by The Boy Genius, chocolate cake by New World supermarket, and bottle of red wine by a vineyard in Hawkes Bay.

Today I dine well, for tomorrow I sign up at the gym and start working off that alarming podge.

Auckland Helicopter Crash

A helicopter putting up the Auckland Christmas tree crashed this week, naturally captured on film.  Thankfully the pilot's only injury was a scratch on his hand.  Santa is still in intensive care, but expected to pull through...

 

Settling In

Dear UK,

Not a lot to report at the moment, still settling in to the new flat and trying to keep expense to a minimum until the first paycheck comes in.  We have broadband now so can get to the Webs, and should have a cheap calls phonecard soon for ringing home to catch up on the UK gossip.

Elections were held at the weekend over here, looks like the ever-smiling John Key's National Party won again, though with MMP it's more complicated than trying to play Risk when stoned. (So I hear.)

Weather's lovely and sunny, but blowing a gale most of the time. Great when you're on top of a tall building.

Other than that all good.  Love to all back home!

S & K.

I've Been Internalizing a Complicated Situation in my Hid

A Kiwi drink driving ad doing the rounds which will no doubt turn into the next catchphrase.

 

 

Damn That Commute

After a tense few days of kissing frogs in our search for decent accommodation we finally found our prince and have moved into a flat in the center of Wellington.  It's the top floor of a commercial building and DEFINITELY NOT ON TOP OF A NIGHTCLUB. 

It's quite strange not having anyone else around us except huge aircon units (which thankfully switch off after working hours) but the place is well furnished and comfy so Wor Lass is over the moon.  I'm sleeping on a futon, which is Japanese for "unwelcome guest's bed" so may be investing in a mattress topper, but otherwise pretty good. 

Also a bonus that I'm less than 5 minutes walk from my desk.  Or a McDonalds ....

.... and There Again

Made it safely back to Wellington after 2 days of travelling, and despite a few BA delays the journey wasn't as gruelling as we'd feared.

Facing a 2 hour wait at Heathrow we treated ourselves to a VIP lounge, and getting away from the crowds was lovely.  I had a back massage while Wor Lass snoozed in "the Snug".  Very civilised!

The flights were turbulence-free -- right up to the bumpy landing at Wellington, which is par for the course -- and comfortable, though we did eye up the Business Class seats with envy.

We are now residing at serviced apartments overlooking Lambton Quay, right in the middle of town, and currently trying to filter out the noisy b*stards in the bar across the road.  I'd forgotten that Kiwis slip into "Party Mode" when exposed to alcohol, turning to volume up to 11. 

Ah well, house hunting has already begun so it should only be for a few more nights.  Having said that the two places we've looked at this weekend were NASTY!  Looks like we'll have to pay pretty steep rent to get a place without damp, mould & 1970's furniture.

I'm also amazed by the hike in prices over here -- £11.50 for one takeaway curry, £4.50 for a small glass of wine -- which is probably naive of me given the global economic enema we've all endured.  Just hoping our reserves last until pay day!

So in summary: we're here, we're tired, we're living out of a suitcase but we're fine.  Onwards and upwards!

The Hobbit - Behind The Scenes

Been back in Wellington 2 days now and still not had a call from PJ offering me a part in The Hobbit - shucks.  Until he gets in touch I'm keeping up to date with progress by following his fascinating behind the scenes video blogs.  How on Earth does the guy find the time?!